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Grey Matters

Do you see things as Black or White? So many of us see situations as having to be an extreme to be “right”. There is safety in the binary. It is easy to think in these terms. It is more quantitative and qualitative. Easier to defend and to stand by fully.

I realized recently through one of my own coaching sessions, that I was holding myself back from peace because I believed that two things could not co-exist.

I could not be an independent woman and also be in a relationship. Seems strange right? But to me, there was no half way. To let myself rely on anyone meant that I wasn’t a successful and strong individual. There was no grey in the matter, I had been placing myself safely behind a wall with this justification.

When my coach asked me. “How does it feel behind that wall?”

All I saw was a solitary outline of a figure in a blank abyss. What I thought was creating safety for me was actually creating a very lonely and stark existence.

I realized that this black or white stance was stealing from a daily peace and freedom. I now see that enjoyment is in fact in the grey space, where things are fluid and less rigid.

Can you:

  1. Think of a situation where you believe the outcome has to be black or white?

  2. What would it look like to choose something in between?

  3. What positive outcome could that bring you?


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